It Took Seconds

Five minutes and forty-four seconds: This seems a good time to mention that I’m not necessarily picking the best tracks in my collection for each length, but they’re always songs I enjoy. This is the intriguingly-titled “(Hurt Me! Hurt Me!) But The Pants Stay On” by Samantha Fox, a record I read about - in a Chuck Eddy book, it may not surprise you to learn - and assumed I would never hear, and then along came MP3s and P2P and all such assumptions crumpled.

Sam Fox was a British page 3 girl - probably the most famous one ever over here - who decided to have a recording career because, well, she could, I guess. Thanks to a canny choice of collaborators, and less baggage, I get the impression she was actually bigger in the US than at home (where people dismissed her after the first single). She doesn’t have a very good voice, and as is often the case the production has to work pretty hard to disguise that. So part of the appeal of the track is as an index of the production tricks of a particular moment in pop - the party-gang chants, the sinuous orientalesque synth line, the beats, all very late-80s, all rather effective despite the weak centre. There is also a bit of skit either side of the track -no spoilers, as these things go it’s good though and it’s lovely to hear Sam’s wholly unvarnished speaking voice near the end too.

I’m a day behind now so expect a double bill soon.

What would your 5’44” track be?